The Courteous Chihuahua Redux

Martha Stewart I'm Not

2009-10-19T20:35:00.011-04:00

The other day I found myself on the blog, Bake It Pretty, gazing longingly at the perfect autumn recipe: Ginger Tea Bread.

It was a lazy Sunday morning, so thought I would give this recipe a whirl. Let me tell you, I was feeling a little Martha Stewart-ish when I discovered that I had NOT ONLY all of the necessary spices, but also a full, unopened jar of molasses. Molasses! Who keeps that just lying around? I considered myself a kitchen goddess for all of ten seconds, because that's when I noted the best by date on the jar: February 2007. How embarrassing. Oh, well. On to the spice cabinet. Ginger - check! Allspice - check! Cloves - check! Cinnamon - check!

All expired? Check! Good grief. The ginger was so old it didn't even have a Best By date on it. Fear not. Apparently, I used to have OCD and had written the purchase date on the bottom of the jar.

Does that say 2002 or 2007? Oh, surely I haven't had that in the cabinet for seven years. I did a quick search on the internet for "the shelf life of spices" which led me to the McCormick's website (duh) where I found a handy dandy spice-o-meter. If your spice jar doesn't have a Best By date, you just enter the code on the bottom of the jar and the city of manufacture. I did that, and this was the result I got:

Yep. 2002. Expired. And don't call me Shirley.

Undaunted by the fact that the main ingredient was seven years old, I proceeded to make the recipe anyway. That's when - using a knife to break the seal on the molasses jar - the knife slipped and cut my thumb.

Good grief. It hurt worse than it looks and it was bleeding! It still hurts today, but don't you worry about me. I washed it up and put on a Band Aid. The remainder of the recipe went without incident. However, can I say I hate loaf pan recipes? I had way too much batter for that one pan. Fortunately, I had some mini pans. Even though I doubt Martha would use aluminum disposable pans, I poured the extra batter in them. The two little loaves cooked up perfectly in about 23 minutes, but it took the regular sized pan about 15 minutes longer than the recipe called for. As a result, the edges were a lot darker than I would have liked.

The mini loaf popped out of its pan easily and was absolute perfection. Considering the fact that half of my ingredients were expired, it tasted pretty darn good. My Martha Mojo resurfaced a little at this point, and I got a little cocky. Trying to take the cake out of the pan before it completely cools is not a good idea.

This is Exhibit A after I tried to smush it all back together:

Amanda from Bake It Pretty, suggests wrapping the cake in plastic and serving it the next day. Excellent idea. The flavor gets stronger and the hard edges I was worried about softened. I took it to work where it disappeared quickly. I've noted before my co-workers may not be the best gage of good eats as they remind me of the hyenas in The Lion King.

Unless, of course, they're raving about my quasi Martha Stewart-type offerings.

I'm Just Wild About Harry

2009-10-04T22:13:00.000-04:00

If you read this, you already know I love Harry Connick, Jr. I think he's talented, funny and handsome. Simply put: the total package. Imagine my excitement when his new CD was released last week.

Your Songs is a collection of standards - old and new - done in Harry's signature big band style. I made the mistake of reading a review of the CD first, which said:

"There's a little too much of a lounge lizard

creeping into this collection of pop standards and 70s faves."

I bought it anyway. Fortunately, my memory is crap these days, and had forgotten all about the review by the time I got to listen to the CD. It wasn't awful, but there was something not quite right, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. What was it...? And then the words LOUNGE LIZARD popped into my head. I'm so sorry, Harry, but that's the God's honest truth. I wanted to like it, I really did. I wanted to like it because you sang the most understated, respectful version of the National Anthem on September 11:

I wanted to like it, even after visiting your website a couple of weeks ago and found the O in Connick looked like this on the website banner:

I won't lie. My bowels seized up a little when I saw that. But I'll listen to the CD again. Did I mention I truly want to like it? Besides, I resigned myself long ago to the fact that if I discounted entertainers solely on the basis of their politics, I'd be stuck watching Chuck Norris and Kelsey Grammer in a remake of the Odd Couple at The Buck Creek Playhouse.

Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

2009-09-28T20:53:00.001-04:00

DON'T PANIC: There will be no dirty dancing in this post, but that was the only Havana tie-in I could come up with. Stick around, though, we'll be talking about food!! For those of you not in the Indy area, I apologize. This post won't mean much to you (not that any of my posts really do).

Charlie, our host for the evening.

I wanted to tell you about the dinner I had at a little family-owned and operated place called The Havana Cafe. My friend and co-worker, Jenni (but you can call her Jenelope), discovered this little gem and is all about bringing them new business. It's located in the Honeycreek Shopping Center at West 38th Street and Moller Road. The family history is far-flung and includes Columbia, El Salvador, and Cuba. There's even some German tossed in, just to keep things interesting. This means the menu is not the standard Hispanic fare of tacos and burritos. Our super-friendly waiter, Charlie, brought out some samples to help us make our selection. Jenni ordered the Picadillo a la Criolla: ground beef creole, which came with rice, black beans and plantains.

Jenni está muy feliz de tener un compañero de cena deliciosa.

I took a chance on the Masitas de Puerco fritas: fried pork chunks which came with yellow rice and plantains. Charlie's mom, Flor, was the chef that evening and she did not disappoint. My pork was delightfully crispy on the outside and incredibly tender on the inside. The plantains were tasty as well. I think Charlie said (if you're reading this, Charlie, correct me if I'm wrong) they soak the plantains in wine before cooking them.

Delicioso!

We shared a rice pudding for dessert, which was the absolute perfect, not-too-sweet ending to the meal. The price was fairly reasonable: plentiful dinner, can of soda and dessert - $13. Oh, I almost forgot. We got a couple of complimentary empanadas to take home - mmmmm! The only negative would be that they don't have a walk-in freezer, so they don't keep a large supply of food on hand. They had sold out of what I originally requested off the menu. On the upside, that means they get deliveries more frequently so their food is really fresh! Also, I will grant you that 38th Street can be a little dicey (their hours are 9a-10p - I probably won't be doing any late night dining there), but I admire this family's entrepreneurial spirit. There are some other different ethnic restaurants in this area which I plan on visiting, so I hope they are successful in making this area productive again.

Tasks Eleven thru Nineteen Completed!

2009-09-08T07:51:00.000-04:00

Wow! I have been a total slacker on the blog this summer. I don't know what the problem is.

Anyhoo, I was going over my 101 Things to Do in 1001 Days list. I have accomplished several more tasks, all of which I did completely forgetting they were even on the list. Here we go:

Buy something at a thrift store: I bought this supercute sundress at the Goodwill back in May. It's from American Eagle and still had the tags on it: $48. Gah. I wouldn't pay $48 for it, but I would pay $5. What I DID pay was $2.50 as it was half-price day. What a deal!! Sadly, I'm too fat to fit into it, but maybe it will serve as motivation. More likely, it will hang in my closet and serve as a reminder of my lost youth.

Reconnect with an old friend: My friend, Jana, hosted a ladies' night at her house. It was especially great because she invited Chris, who I have not seen in several years. Jana, Chris and I all worked at Wishard together 20 years ago. We hung out in the hot tub and chatted until the wee hours of the morning. Lots of fun. I didn't have my camera, so you'll just have to take my word for it when I say we looked exactly like this:

Attend work related class or seminar: Nothing exciting or humorous to report on this one, but I did a Fundamentals of Supervision class through IUPUI Human Resources.

Grow my own tomatoes: I did a little experiment here. I grew one plant in the Topsy Turvy fashion, only mine was the homemade version. The other plant I stuck in a planter. The tomatoes in the planter did better, but I got quite a few off of each plant. That was very exciting for me, and I'm doing more next year.

New carpet in family room: FINALLY. Yee gads. That carpet looked so bad I was embarrassed to even have the carpet guys see it. Here's the new stuff:

Re-do my blog so IE users can see it: I actually did this a long time ago. For whatever reason, Internet Explorer was throwing a monkey wrench into people accessing the blog. I don't know what the problem was, but just decided to make a new blog and imported the old posts. So far, no complaints. Keep your fingers crossed.

Buy a t-shirt from nataliedee.com: I don't know how I found the Natalie Dee website, but she is flippin' hysterical. She can also be vulgar, so if you're easily offended, don't go there. I was going to buy myself a t-shirt, but ended up getting one for Robin and Lily as well. Mine is What's Up, Pudding Cup? Lily's is Anxiety Girl and Robin's is I'm Awesome. If you know these girls, the shirts make perfect sense. If you don't know them, the shirts should tell you everything.

Get home wireless mess figured out: I still don't really know what was wrong with it, but I do know a 17-year-kid who is always hanging out at my house fixed it for me and finally earned his keep. We now have wireless throughout the entire house, and not just one little corner of one room. Big shout out to Farmer - YAY, FARMER!! This even involved him being on the phone with the Linksys customer service help line for a realllly long time. My hero.

Play fantasy football: I have no idea what I'm doing. We're not playing for money so if I bomb, I guess that's okay.

That's another $45 in the account which brings the grand total to $95. Hot damn alakazam!

Okay, if I'm going to brag about my accomplishments, I need to confess to a couple of failures.

Doing a 5k was on the list, and I did sign up for one. Unfortunately, the race was scheduled for the day after my birthday celebration. Ever heard of Lemon Drop shots? Let's just say I didn't feel so hot that morning, so I bailed on the race.

Also, there was my grand plan to not shop at Walmart for an entire month. HA! I couldn't even go a week. I did the grocery shopping at Kroger once, and it almost killed me. As much as I hate Walmart and its hillbilly clientele, it is definitely easier on ye olde chequebook. Well...that, and I have a little crush on one of the greeters:

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

2009-08-23T12:04:00.000-04:00

Sigh...I don't even know where to start with this post. You might want to go to the bathroom first (make sure you wash your hands) and grab a snack. It's gonna be a long one...

One week ago I was on Cloud 9. I had just gotten home from the Indiana State Fair where I got to see my lover boy, Keith Urban, in concert.

It goes without saying - but I'll say it anyway - he put on one heck of a show. Not only that, he came down into the audience during the final song of the show and strolled over right to where we were seated. Okay, not exactly where we were, but we were only a short stampede away where I snapped the following:

Oh, I do love him so.

As if that wasn't enough to make my month, Tom's friend - the Infamous Tara from Minneapolis - was visiting. We pretty much love Tara and want her and Tom to become a real couple.

We were going to spend the day having fun on the boat on Sunday with those two and their friends Josh and Lindsay. We were finally going to go out on Cagles Mill Lake, which had not been accessible all of last year due to flooding. It WAS a fun day until tragedy struck. After a wild and crazy tubing experience, I was attempting to get back in the boat. STUPIDLY, I stepped onto the diving platform with my left foot and while trying to maintain my balance, the tube went out from under my right foot. This resulted in me doing the splits, something I have NEVER done in my 46 years on this planet. I felt a pop in my leg, and that's when my life went straight to hell in a handbasket. I somehow managed to get up the ladder and haul myself onto the boat. It hurt but wasn't unbearable at that point, so we stayed out on the lake for another hour. By the time we made the hour-long trip home, the pain was unbearable. I was shuffling up the sidewalk into the house, and the six-inch porch step was what did me in. When I made that step, it felt like someone had rammed an electric cattle prod in my leg. At this point, I started crying. I couldn't get back to the car, and I couldn't get in the house. I had to lay across Tom's back and he carried me into the house and deposited me on the couch. We determined a trip to the ER was in order, but the big problem was how to get me out to the car. I was immobilized by pain every time I moved my leg. Lily suggested we call an ambulance, but John poo-poo'd that idea because "ambulance rides are expensive". After listening to him and Tom come up with all sorts of convoluted means of transport (i.e. me laying on a blanket and four people grabbing a corner, OR me holding onto the blanket and he and Tom dragging it to the car - I kid you not), Lily stood up and proclaimed SHE was calling an ambulance. Go Lily. I may have been crying again at this point, because John went over and made the call. He told the dispatch operator that it was NOT an emergency but that we did need transport to the ER. She assured him help would arrive silently and inconspicuously. Right. Apparently, some self-centered a-holes had the nerve to have an emergency right before mine, and the ambulance from the station nearest our home was already out on a run. Therefore, they sent this with about five firefighters:

Very inconspicuous.

I'd like to mention here that when Robin learned there would be paramedics coming to the house, she ran and changed clothes.

They came in and did a quick physical assessment while we waited for the northside station ambulance to show up. Understandably, my blood pressure was through the roof, but just having PROFESSIONALS show up to assist me made me feel much better. Well, that and Tara running around snapping pictures. I'm fairly certain the paramedics thought we were crazy.

We went to Clarian West ER, where the nurses, Jenn and Sam, were super duper nice. Dr. Brummett didn't look old enough to buy alcohol much less dispense narcotics, but I didn't let that stop me from accepting her delightful cocktail of Fentanyl and Toradol. There wasn't much they could do for me after that. Once my blood pressure was back to normal, they wrapped my leg, gave me a couple of scripts, crutches, a referral to an ortho doc, and sent me on my way.

On Thursday, I was able to see Dr. Ripley P. Worman (say this in your best Thurston P. Howell voice). He was confident this was a hamstring strain with no significant damage and recommended I start physical therapy as soon as possible, which luckily was on Friday. I was given a series of exercises to do and a deep tissue massage on the back of my right thigh. After I did my exercises at home Friday evening, I asked John, the nurse, to do the massage for me. John, the nurse, freaked out when he saw the bruising on my inner thigh. I really want to show you the bruise, but I couldn't quite crop the picture enough to show you the extent of the damage and still maintain some dignity. Just know this: it's ugly.

So, just for fun, here's a bonus a picture of one of the groups of nosey neighbors who came out to watch the excitement:

I've pretty much been confined to bed this past week because it hurts like a you-know-what whenever I stand up and gravity pulls on my leg. I've taken a total of one shower, but I have been brushing my teeth (almost daily). I'm what the kids call a "hot mess"...

I was going to post a video that was making the rounds sometime ago, Why Seniors Shouldn't Go Boating, but after viewing it again, it's not that funny. My sense of humor must be sitting on the bottom of Cagles Mill Lake.

MORE Fun with Zucchini

2009-07-30T18:36:00.009-04:00

HA! HA! HEE! HEE! HO! HO! (wipes tears of laughter from eyes) Okay, now that I got that out of my system, I made Zucchini Pie the other night. This recipe was given to me by my good friend Bridgie McBridgerton. Last summer Bridgie was kind enough to bring me a slice of her homemade Zucchini Pie, and it was love at first bite. In fact, if I'm remembering correctly, I did the equivalent of drunk dialing in the pie world. I called her with a full mouth and proclaimed to her voicemail, "Bridgie! I looooove yer pie!" She must have loved that creepy message, because she brought me another slice a few weeks ago. It was just as yummy, but honestly, anything less than a whole zucchini pie is not enough, so I had to make one for myself. This is some good stuff, dare I say nirvana? Here's the recipe:

1 cup peeled, cubed, cooked zucchini. (Takes about two cups raw to make one cup cooked)

1 cup evaporated milk

1 cup sugar

1 large egg

1 1/2 T. butter or margarine

2 T. flour, slightly heaped

1 tsp vanilla

Put all ingredients in a blender and mix at high speed until smooth. Pour into an unbaked 9" pie shell. Bake at 400 degrees F for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 and bake another 15-20 minutes (until crust is lightly browned and filling is not too jiggly).

Let the pie cool completely, then liberally sprinkle the top with cinnamon and nutmeg. Store leftovers (if any) in the refrigerator.

7/31/09 UPDATE: Per Bridgie, the name of this pie is actually Great Aunt Anne's Zucchini Pie. I brought this into to work today and it was gone within a few minutes. The devouring was followed by several requests for the recipe.

Oh, I almost forgot. John actually tried a bite. While he didn't exactly give it two thumbs up, he did said it tasted a little bit like pumpkin pie. It's more like sugar cream to me, but the fact that he didn't burst into tears and spit it out makes it a WIN!

Zucchini Cake

2009-07-26T21:15:00.006-04:00

The other day I was checking out The Pioneer Woman's blog where she raved about a certain zucchini cake recipe. I'd actually never cooked with zucchini and don't really know much about it. A quick trip to Wikipedia informed me that "Botanically, the zucchini is an immature fruit, being the swollen ovary of the female zucchini flower." Granted, that sounds kind of icky, but I do loves me some cake, so I figured what the heck? I won't bore you with pictures of every step of making a cake - you all know what flour and sugar look like, right? If you don't, you can find pictures here along with the recipe. It's really a very simple recipe with the most "difficult" thing being grating the zucchini. I've always been leery of graters, afraid I'm going to grate off my knuckles or the tips of my fingers or something, but no casualties today. My new grater whittled those immature fruits like it was nothing. The only change I made to the recipe was substituting pecans for coconut in the cake batter.

Also, I did not use the cream cheese frosting recipe that Ree lists. I found this recipe a few months ago that is my new favorite.

1 8 oz. package cream cheese (cold, straight from the fridge)

5 T. softened butter

1 tsp. vanilla

2 c. powdered sugar

Beat cream cheese and butter together until smooth. Add vanilla. Add powdered sugar, mixing until completely blended and smooth. This recipe makes a substantial amount of frosting. Yes, I used it all. If you are one of those weirdos who doesn't like frosting, tough titties.

I frosted the cake as soon as it was cool (okay, it wasn't completely cool but I was getting impatient) and had a small piece. To be perfectly honest, my initial reaction was, "Meh." It wasn't bad, but it didn't have me wanting to dance on the rooftops either. I figured I could just take it to the office on Monday and let the pack of deranged wolves I call co-workers have at it.

Then a funny thing happened. After dinner I was cutting a few pieces for John to take to his parents and decided to try another piece.

IT WAS REALLY GOOD. Because the cream cheese frosting is so soft, I had stored the cake in the refrigerator, and the cold cake was to die for. Now, I *am* dancing on the rooftops, and because I danced and burned off a few calories - ahem - I had another piece just to make sure it really was that good.

It was.

P.S. - The cake recipe calls for crushed pineapple that has been drained. I mixed the 8 oz of reserved pineapple juice with the juice from a can of mandarin oranges I found in the pantry earlier today. To that I added some fresh lime juice and Malibu Rum. YUM.

I feel compelled to tell you that I had the 70s on 7 playing on the TV and this song came on.

More rooftop dancing ensued which caused Lola to run into the bedroom and hide under the loveseat while Ringo stuck his head under a pillow. I bet you all wish THAT was on YouTube.

Fond Vacation Memories

2009-07-22T21:59:00.005-04:00

Remember when I reported Robin's snarky comment upon noticing that John and I were holding hands on our beach walk? I swear, those girls act as if we are such an embarrassment to them. I doubt anyone on that beach was even looking at us:

Ringo Finds True Love

2009-07-07T22:00:00.001-04:00

Yucky weather today,

so I'm doing a post on a recent development with Ringo...

You remember Reese, don't you? She is the 120-pound or so Rottweiler who lives next door. Reese's parents fenced in their backyard, and through the safety of chain link, she and Ringo have begun what I like to call "The Dance of Love"...

Although Lola stands at the fence and barks her fool head off to get Reese's attention, Reese only has eyes for Ringo:

I think Reese and Ringo would make an awesome power couple, along the lines of Brad & Angelina, Will & Jada or Tom & Katie. Oh, who am I kidding? In human form, they would most likely bear a striking resemblance to these two:

P.S. - You'll be glad to know the sun came out while I was working on this, so I hustled my buns down to the beach for a lovely afternoon of sun and a good book. The only bad part of the day were the two whale turds that washed up on the beach where I was trying to relax.

The Bickersons' Family Vacation

2009-07-05T22:24:00.009-04:00

Yee gads....for those of you who have little ones, enjoy them while you can. One day, (it will come sooner than you think, completely blindsiding you) they will be teenagers. I distinctly remember a cute little girl with big brown eyes telling me in all earnestness: "Mommy, I will never be a big ugly teenager." She lied.

We're on vacation in Pensacola Beach, Florida. The girls didn't even have to travel down with us, instead being afforded the luxury of air travel. Due to a miscommunication (translation: John doesn't listen), the girls weren't available to leave on Friday, so John and I headed out on the 12-hour drive together. Just the two of us. In the car. Together. As much as I wish I had some funny stories to tell on John, it really wasn't bad. We rolled into PB on Saturday mid-afternoon, checked into the condo, had a little beach time, then made our way to the airport to pick up Robin and Lily. Robin was pretty excited because she met Jake from the Bachelorette at the Atlanta airport. I don't watch the show, but if this guy is who the Bachelorette is NOT selecting, I can't imagine what those other guys are like!

Anyhoo, they arrive in a good mood and the first day goes well. In retrospect, I should have known Lily was up to something because she was being particularly nice, wanting to take our picture together every five minutes.

Then she starts in on getting her tragus pierced. John and I both say "no"...

Following that was a flurry of Facebook statuses that read:

Robin Reyes honestly just wants to go home.
Lily Reyes is p*ssed that she can't get her ear pierced.
Robin Reyes' family is exhausting.

Seriously. We're on vacation with surf, sand and a great forecast. How rough can their lives be?

Oh, I also heard a snide comment regarding John and I holding hands when we were walking on the beach: "I don't know whether to jump for joy or puke."

The Awe-summmness of Moi

2009-07-01T22:03:00.000-04:00

Sarah K. over at Randumb was awarded the Queen of ALLL Things Awe-summm!!! award and passed it along to me. Wow, I am incredibly honored!

Here's what I have to do:

1. List 7 things that make me awe-summm!
2. Pass the award onto 7 bloggers that I love
3. Tag those bloggers to let them know they are now Queens too (and link back to the Queen who tagged you)

In addition to being awesome, I'm humble, so I asked a few friends to share one awesome thing about me and here's what they came up with:

7 Things That Make Me Awe-Summm!

1. I am SASSY!

2. I have excellent oral hygiene.

3. I put up with two chihuahuas and John.

4. I am an awesome mom.

5. I have mad baking skills.

6. I will come get your pathetic, post-partum carcass late on a Sunday night, take you to the ER, wait 3 hours while you get checked out, then deliver your pathetic, post-partum carcass safely home. I won't even say, "I told you not to have a third kid." Uh, actually I can't promise the last part.

7. I am very funny.

Here's where I'm NOT so awesome...I don't really have the blogdom to pay it forward, so I think I will just selfishly wallow in my victory.

Thanks, Sarah!

The Concrete Lady

2009-06-28T19:03:00.009-04:00

For the past 20 years, whenever John and I traveled through southern Indiana via I-65, we would pass The Concrete Lady. This is a magical place that manufactures and sells concrete statuary and lawn ornaments. What caught my attention all those years ago was a giant polar bear that I wanted with every fiber of my being. How fun would it be to put that fellow on my deck and dress him up for the holidays? I don't think that's asking too much, do you? A certain someone who shall remain nameless (but it's John, in case you were wondering) never wanted to stop and take a look because we were on vacation and that's not what he considered fun. Oh, occasionally he'd get lucky and I'd be asleep as he whizzed past Exit 4. That's when he'd nudge me and say, "Did you want to stop? Oh, I think we missed the exit." So, I finally took matters into my own hands and planned a day trip with my sister specifically to go see The Concrete Lady. Today was the big day. We arrived around 11:00 and were so excited about our shopping trip that we didn't even mind the soul-crushing heat. We started off in the fountain section. I would love to have a fountain; I even have the perfect spot for it. I'm just not sure I would know how to go about setting it up and, quite honestly, I don't want to learn. I just want some helpful person to come do that for me.

Yes, the 12-year-old boy in me thinks this is funny:

Sadly, the polar bear I had admired from afar is no longer available.

However, I've found a new love: a concrete, flesh-colored, hand-shaped chair.

Is that awesome, or what???

The ONLY reason I didn't buy one today is that it would not fit in my car. Keep in mind, though, John owns a truck. That chair will be mine.

Now, I realize a lot of the stuff there is tacky, but something deep within me really likes it.

Not this, though:

Instead of Native Americans being offended by sports teams with names such as the Chiefs, Braves, and Redskins, I think their time and effort would be better spent putting a stop to things like that.

Here is the sponsor for tonight's nightmare (shivers):

He didn't scare Sarah. She's a dental hygienist and always looking for new patients.

Here she is with King Kong.

She stayed in this position for quite awhile after I took the picture,

but I'm not really sure what that was about.

I'd really like to meet the person who would buy this one:

The always funny nose-picking troll:

Finally! Something with class and sophistication:

I guess two living/breathing pugs aren't enough for some folks:

There were so many awesomely tacky items that it is a little overwhelming. I couldn't even begin to photograph them all, but if you visit their website, you can see a broader selection of what's available. There's also a gift shop with lots of stuff you'll never need or want, but it's interesting to stroll through. Plus, it is air conditioned. Their prices are excellent. I ended up with a reasonable facsimile of the Bird Girl of Savannah for $26 and two planters for $22 each.

After we loaded up the car, Sarah bought me lunch at Logan's Steakhouse. What better way to spend a Sunday than tacky lawn ornaments, acting goofy with my sister and a good meal?

Face in Hole

2009-06-01T20:02:00.003-04:00

So, the other day I was reading Sarah K's blog, and decided to check out her profile picture. I knew it was her face superimposed over Audrey Hepburn's, but I wanted to see how she did it. I enlarged the picture and in the lower right hand corner were the words Face In Hole. Being extremely internet savvy*, I typed faceinhole.com into my browser and it was there that I found heaven on earth. Thirty-seven pages of different scenarios in which you can insert your own mug. MORE.FUN.THAN.A.BARREL.OF.MONKEYS.

Here's a sampling of how I spent the next hour (possibly more, but I'm not telling).

I think my face looks weird(er than usual) in this one, but I GET TO WEAR A CROWN!

Not everyone call pull off this look. I think I can handle it.

This was back when Troy Aikman and I had a thing. DAY-UM! I look good.

You know that we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.

Don't I wish this was real!!!

Insert swine flu jokes here.

I almost peed my pants when I found this one. Sigh....

Not to mention the fact that it doesn't snore, complain about your driving or fill up your DVR with Matlock episodes.

*Now, I must be honest here. I'm not THAT internet savvy. I actually misread the website in the picture and typed in facehole.com. Word of advice: don't do that.

Happy Birthday, Lily!

2009-05-29T06:00:00.003-04:00

Lily Rebecca turns 17 today. I can hardly believe it. Oh, it's not her advanced age that stuns me. It's the fact that I actually let her live this long. LOL She has always been quite the character. I used to tell her when I was pregnant with Robin I drank fine wine and listened to classical music and when pregnant with her I drank beer and watched The Beverly Hillbillies. Whether getting in trouble (ask her about the Silly Putty Incident sometime) or out of the blue telling me how much she loves me, she never fails to keep me entertained. She has brought so much laughter and fun to our lives. I'm glad she's here.

Off to the Races!

2009-05-24T22:23:00.006-04:00

“More business is lost every year through neglect

than through any other cause.”

- Rose Kennedy

I hope my neglect of this blog hasn't lost me any readers...I don't have that many to spare. Life has been pretty crazy lately, mostly work related. It will be at least three more weeks before it's back to normal, please bear with me - or bare with me. Whatever.

I did do something fun this weekend which I will tell you about. Many years ago - January 1997 to be exact - we got a computer and connected to the internet; Al Gore came over and hooked everything up for us. John immediately got on line and started looking up old girlfriends, and I found an All My Children message board. I had been watching AMC off and on since 1975 and it was really fun to find a group of people who enjoyed it as much as I did. There were a few renegades who split off into our own chat room which eventually turned into an e-mail loop, trading jokes, recipes, advice and life stories. This group of ladies and one gentleman have had enough material over the last 12 years to write our own soap opera including - but not limited to - marriages, divorces, births, deaths, breast cancer, an accidental outing, a mugging and an inappropriate encounter with a brother-in-law. Some have left the group, and others have brought on new friends. Over the years, several members have actually met in person, and these encounters always live up to our online friendship, and that's where this weekend comes into play.

One of the ladies from our west coast contingency - Jan and her husband, Mike - were taking a tour of the midwest. They decided to spend a few days in Louisville, KY where one of our other ladies - Diane - lives. Those of us who were within a reasonable distance and had the time got together this past weekend to finally meet in person and spend the day together. It was me (Indy), Pattie and Jackie (Cincinnati), and Suzanne (Barren Lake, KY) bringing along assorted guests. We met at Diane's home in old Louisville around 10:30 a.m. on Saturday. After some initial squeals of happiness and hugs, we took the tour of Diane's BEAUTIFUL 100+ year-old residence - totally jealous. Don't ask me why I didn't take pictures. Around 11:30 we headed off to spend the day at Churchill Downs. I had never been to a horsetrack before. I'm not a big gambler, mainly because I'm not lucky and I'm cheap, but I figured what the heck. Even if you are not a fan of horse racing, there's something to be said for being in a place that's so famous and steeped in tradition. We had tables reserved in the dining area where you can watch the games on TVs or head outside to one of the boxes. I have NO idea how to read the racing forms, so I just picked horses based on any connection I might possibly have to the horse or jockey's name. For the first race, no one really jumped out at me, so I just picked horse #2 because 2 was the first number Robin learned when she was little and she used it for every answer. Guess what? He won! The next race I picked Citizen John and he ended up in third. There was a jockey with the last name of Reyes so I bet on him in every race he rode. He won something two of the three races in which he rode. Of the ten races I bet on, I won a grand total of $98!
This drink is called - appropriately enough - Lily. It's sweet and pretty, but the next thing you know, you've been knocked to the ground and wake up to find all of your money is missing.

I enjoyed watching the races on the turf. I highly recommend going outside into one of the boxes to watch the races. Very exciting.

Here's our intrepid group of gamblers...Left to right: Roberta (friend of Suzanne's), Jackie, Jan, Diane, Pattie, Carol (Pattie's partner), Paulette (friend of Suzanne's who may or may not have a weird thing for armadillos), Suzanne and me.

Throughout the course of the day, we all had the chance to chat and eat and eat and chat. It was a lot of fun and these are some really terrific women. I haven't watched AMC in probably nine years, but I will definitely continue to keep these ladies around.

Prom 2009

2009-05-12T19:10:00.008-04:00

Okay, I've finally recovered enough from Lily's Prom to do a post about it. Everything actually went pretty smoothly, it's just a lot of activity and coordinating. Fortunately, Lily took herself to get a mani/pedi earlier in the week, so the only place we had to go on Saturday was Tyler Mason for a special event hairdo. I dropped her off because I needed to hit Lowes and pick up some flowers and tomato plants. Before you accuse me of being a negligent mother, I made it back in time to pay for the aforementioned hairdo. There was a quick stop at Kroger to pick up Josh's boutonniere which was $2 more than they originally told me but, at this point, what are you gonna do? We were home between 2:30 and 3:00, which left about two hours before the other parents descended upon our house. Lily worked on her make-up and her BFF Kaylee's hair and then it was time to get dressed. Kaylee's sister, Courtney, was also going to Prom, and she showed up early so she and Kaylee could get pictures together. Shortly after Courtney left, Corey and Josh appeared with assorted parents, step-parents and a random grandma in tow, followed closely by my sister and John's parents. Unbeknownst to me, Corey's mom had wanted the kids to come to their house for pictures because they have a staircase. Yeh, yeh...that's nice for photo ops, but I bet they don't have chihuahuas rudely wandering into every picture. Seriously, I don't know how our little cracker box house ended up the place to be. Although Saturday started out pretty cold and windy, the sun came out just in time for pictures.

Kaylee chillaxin' with Ringo before pictures.

Lily's grand entrance.

Please note:

Isn't She Lovely? is playing on the music channel on TV.

Isn't she lovely?

She looks good coming AND going! LOL

Kaylee and Corey

Pinning Josh's boutonniere.

Aunt Sarah was a wedding photographer's assistant in another life,

so here she is coming to the rescue.

Boys have it so much easier.

Robin, Lily and Tom.

Good thing we had Security there.

BTW, after this display of sisterly love,

Lily called Robin an a-hole on Facebook the very next day.

They get that loutish behavior from their father.

The gang!

Josh's grandma gave Lily that ring to wear. Wasn't that sweet?

Speaking of sweet, Lily remembered at the last minute her gas light came on earlier and she had no money for gas. I ponied up for that, and Kaylee's dad went and filled it up so she wouldn't have to do that in her fancy dress. Of course, the evening wasn't without a little drama. They got lost going downtown to the Indiana Roof Ballroom, couldn't find the free lot so had to pay $25 to park in the garage, and got lost coming home from downtown. They ended up on some back roads out by the new airport, (not really by our house if you were wondering) and Lily swears they were actually driving on the runway at one point. They made it home safe and sound without a police escort, so it's all good.

So...here's the tally:

prom tickets - $90; prom dress - $200; shoes - $35; hairdo - $60; mani/pedi - $50; boutonniere - $9; gas - $20; parking - $25; the last bill in my purse for emergencies - $10.

Lily having an evening she'll never forget....

$499!!!

I bet you thought I was going to say "priceless," right? HA! She just informed me she can't wait until next year's prom...see you then.

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T18:24:00.008-04:00

If you read my last post, you know that Robin had something up her sleeve for Mother's Day. She told me to plan on being home and to get John out of the house for the evening. While that alone would have been enough of a present, there was actually MUCH, MUCH more. She and her BFF, Ashley Mango, organized and prepared a Mother's Day dinner for me and Ashley's mom, Sarah.

The bomb diggety meal included: tossed salad, fruit salad, crescent rolls, pasta, grilled chicken and Cowboy Brownies. Oh, and my new favorite... Gewürztraminer wine. Sarah brought a bottle over, but it just so happens I had one chilling as well. Never hurts to be prepared.

While the girls really did do a fantastic job on the meal, I most enjoyed getting to spend time with three women I love having in my life.

Thanks, girls! Makes us moms very proud to have raised such thoughtful, beautiful people!

Odds & Ends

2009-05-05T22:47:00.010-04:00

My good friend, Karen, actually sent an e-mail asking why I hadn't posted anything new on the blog in awhile. Awww....that warms the cockles of my heart. I did not realize it had been more than TWO WEEKS since the last post. That must mean I have a pretty boring life. So, here are a few things to tide you over until the excitement of Prom on Saturday when I can live vicariously through my daughter. ahem...

Speaking of Karen, she and her man-friend/lover boy/fiance Dave got married! They went to the courthouse, said "I do", then went to work. Romantic, huh? Rumor has it, they went to MCL for their wedding dinner that evening. Those crazy kids. Seriously, I wish them the best.

I attended a going away party at Agio's for a co-worker who is moving to New York City. Shawn's wife got a job as the project coordinator for a pain study at the VA in Manhattan. Kate is a big city girl and could no longer ignore the siren call of The Big Apple. Fortunately, Shawn will still be working for the Institute, making return visits to Indy every six weeks or so.

Agio's is a cool Italian restaurant on Mass Ave. The creme brulee and chocolate mousse were divine, but I have to confess, my martini was more like berry-flavored turpentine. However, I paid $10 for that sucker, so you better believe I downed every drop.

Kate made these terrific tie-dyed cupcakes as favors for the guests. They were as tasty as they were cute.

On Sunday John and I drove 2+ hours one way to Brookville Reservoir to check it out for boating this summer. It's a pretty nice lake, but there is not one main entrance, rather several ramps all around the lake.

Good thing we figured that out now, and not when we're dragging that !@#-ing boat around behind us. There is a really nice marina with condo rentals and Ainsley's Cafe where we ate lunch. I was surprised at how good it was. We stopped by the Visitors' Center to get info on the lake, and there were all these awesome antlers lying around. John was an unwilling model, but he quickly realized it was easier to just do what I wanted.

This stuffed badger was also on display. I looked exactly like this after spending the day confined in a truck cab with you-know-who.

Monday I broke down and did some seriously overdue cleaning while I was watching Dancing With The Stars. I found a penis swizzle stick in the TV cabinet in our bedroom. Huh.

Admit it, you thought I was making that up.

So, that's it for now. Saturday promises to be a big day: Not only is Lily going to Prom, but Robin comes home for the summer. YAY!! Robin told me not to make any plans for Saturday evening and to make sure John is gone for the evening. I know you're as intrigued as I am. Stay tuned...

8 Things

2009-04-20T12:00:00.002-04:00

I got tagged by the delightful and rapidly shrinking Alix over at Casa Hice to post the meme of 8. Here 'tis...prepare to be dazzled:

8 Things I’m Looking Forward To
1. Trip to Florida in July
2. Possible Colts roadtrip in September to Arizona
3. Robin being home from school for the summer
4. Joining NIFS (National Institute for Fitness and Sports)
5. Getting my job description finalized
6. Football season
7. BHS Choir Finale
8. Going to Louisville in May

8 Things I Did Yesterday
1. Bought some new clothes
2. Took a nap.
3. Ate lunch at Panda Express.
4. Ate dinner at Asia Wok.
5. Wondered for the umpteenth time why I'm fat.
6. Played on the computer.
7. Played Guitar Hero.
8. Went to the library.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do
1. Run
2. Sing
3. Go back in time
4. Get motivated
5. Lose weight
6. Have a green thumb
7. Be a financial wizard
8. Take an entire year off work and travel through Europe

8 Shows I Watch
1. Celebrity Apprentice
2. Dancing with the Stars
3. Desperate Housewives
4. Ace of Cakes
5. Ugly Betty
6. Food Networks Cake Challenge series
7. Fox 59 Morning News
8. Next Food Network Star

8 People I Tag (with my apologies)
1. Sarah K.
2. The ManofKnotts
3. Hank (whose mom will have to help him)
4. The Eccentric Lady
5. SarahTwo
6. Lily
7. Kurt
8. Ashley

Big Doins' at the 'Tute

2009-04-17T18:13:00.008-04:00

The Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure is being held this weekend in Indianapolis. As part of the festivities, there was a contest called Paint the Town Pink in which companies and businesses were encouraged to decorate their offices/establisments with breast cancer awareness themes. A few of the Institute employees put together a really clever display: Treasure Your Chest, Unlock the Cure, Unlocking the Key to Awareness. In fact, it was so great that we won 1st place! Jeff Saturday, Indianapolis Colts center, and his wife are honorary race chairs this year, so he paid us a visit today to present our award. Very exciting.

Real men DO wear pink.

Hey, look - it's me and #63!

Jill has no shame.

She actually shook the man down for a donation to our Race for the Cure team.

Jeff took a look behind Sylvia's desk to see all her Colts paraphernalia, and was a little disappointed to discover that Bob Sanders is her favorite player.

Of course, no Institute gathering is complete without cake.

Jeff was pretty chill, hanging out and talking with everyone.

Our talented group of ladies receiving their award.

Oh, look. Here I am again.

Some of our award-winning decorations.

A few final autographs before heading out.

Our award!

I can't wait to see what they come up with next year!

What Would Jesus Do?

2009-04-12T07:00:00.007-04:00

I was leaving work on Thursday when I noticed a man standing at the main floor empty information desk looking like he needed help. My first thought was, "Why is Jesus standing at the information desk, doesn't he already know everything?" and my second thought was, "Why is Jesus wearing a sweatshirt and pajama pants?" This guy really did look like Jesus: long hair - check! beard - check! sandals - check! Come to find out, this guy - we'll call him Steve - (because that's his name) was sitting in his car waiting for his wife to come out of a meeting when he witnessed a hit and run in the parking lot. He said a woman backed out of her spot into another car, then she and her passenger got out to assess the damage. The driver looked at Steve in his car, shrugged her shoulders and said, "Sorry", got back in her car and drove away. Wow. That either takes a lot of balls or not a lot of brains. Steve got her license plate number as she left the lot, then came in for assistance. The car that was damaged had a campus parking tag, so I thought we could just call Parking Services, they would look the tag number up, call this person's office so they could come down and get the info. Of course, nothing with the campus is that easy to deal with. They couldn't release the owner's info to me, which I was in complete agreement with, but they wouldn't contact him either. They told me I had to call Campus Police and the police would gather all the info. Several years ago, I had a Christmas Eve incident at Lafayette Square Mall where I think Jesus was testing me and I failed. In that I don't know how many more chances you get, I've since pushed a somewhat dicey looking fellow in his wheelchair across Illinois Street in downtown Indianapolis during Robin's 13th birthday celebration, walked multiple lost patients through the hospital and across campus, and that's why I proceeded to wait the next 45 minutes with Steve for the police to show up. During the course of those 45 minutes, I discovered that:

Steve was an English major, and had spent the past several years living in Mexico teaching English. Sounds like something Jesus would do.
Steve is teaching an ethics class on campus. Uh, I think Jesus knows a thing or two about ethics.
Steve wants to teach philosophy to college students when he gets his Masters degree. Jesus-Philosophy...need I say more?

It's a good thing I stayed: the dispatcher called my cell phone twice because the po-po couldn't figure out what building we were at. Sigh.... When they did arrive, Steve and I parted on a handshake and said it was really nice to meet each other.

I think it's kind of cool that this one time I can honestly say I know WWJD. If He sees you hit a car and take off, He'll turn your a$$ in!

#1 Songs

2009-04-09T21:32:00.008-04:00

I was listening to my favorite morning radio team during the drive into work today. They were discussing American Idol and how Tuesday's song selection was based on the year of the contestant's birth. That means Danny, the oldest contestant, performed a song from 1980 while the youngest contestant - Allison - sang a song from 1992. Are you kidding me? Boy, do I feel even older than usual. Anyhoo, Wank and O'Brien found this site where you can find out what was #1 on the Billboard Chart the day you were born, conceived, married - whatever date is important to you. I was hoping #1 on July 17, 1963 would be something really prophetic such as: Be My Baby, Candy Girl or Pride and Joy. Heck, even Devil in Disguise or Foolish Little Girl would have been funny. Instead I got Surf City, by Jan and Dean. meh....

Do me a favor: Go to the site and find out what was #1 on the day you were born or any day that was important in your life, and let me know if it means anything special to you.

Eighth, Ninth & Tenth Tasks Done!

2009-04-04T20:54:00.014-04:00

I was all excited to host a bridal shower for my friend, Ashley, because it gave me a reason to accomplish task #40 on the list, buy cupcakes from The Flying Cupcake! Oh, also because Ashley's a real sweetie and she and Ross are an adorable couple. I told Ashley to pick what flavor she wanted, and she chose the Red Velvet Elvis cupcakes. I've given up chocolate for Lent, but knowing that God doesn't want me to suffer too much, I bought a single Here Comes the Bride cuppie when I picked up my order: almond cupcake with almond buttercream icing. Their cupcakes are larger than what you make at home; two people could definitely share one...but, of course, I ate the whole thing and it was delicious....burp. Fortunately, their location at 56th & Illinois is not particularly convenient for me. It is worth the trip for a special occasion, but I don't need to be going there very often. Oh, I should confess I brought a Red Velvet Elvis home from the shower and stuck it in the freezer to be consumed on Easter Sunday.

This brings me to tasks nine and ten which I did completely forgetting they were on the list! Imagine my surprise while re-reading that doggone list and found #29: Enroll Ringo in an obedience class. Coincidentally, today was our third session. Five more to go, then we're done - thank God. As much as I like dogs, I'm not a "dog person". I don't have the patience for this. To give you an example of how it's going, this is right after I gave him the stay command so I could take his picture:

They're probably making me and Ringo matching dunce caps as we speak. Moving on...

I burned my last vacation day on Monday to take Lily shopping for a prom dress. We headed up to this cute little boutique in Pendleton called Girlfriends. Lily had seen a dress online that she absolutely had to have and that was one of the few stores that carried it. As it turns out, she found another dress there that looked totally amazing on her and that's the one she got. You'll have to wait until May to see THE dress, but here are a couple she tried on:

Because we got done there so early, we headed to Broad Ripple so Lily could check out the vintage shops. One of them, Broad Ripple Vintage was pretty cool. I think she bought a Beatles poster there.

The other store, The Red Rose, was a bit of a disappointment. Everything was crammed into this little-house-turned-store and it was overwhelming. You couldn't even stand two people by each other there was so much stuff. There may have been some pretty cool stuff in there, we just didn't want to have to work that hard to find it. We ate lunch at Greek's Pizzeria, which was another experience. As soon as we ordered, I noticed the underside of my arm felt wet. There was a puddle of some bleach-like substance on the table where I rested my arm. You could immediately see a light spot appearing on the sleeve of my BRAND NEW sweater. The "manager" told me they don't use any cleaners with bleach, so I offered to let him smell my wet arm, but he wasn't interested. He allegedly tried to get the owner on the phone to resolve the problem, but the owner allegedly hadn't called back. He gave me a $5 discount card for my next vist - WTF? - and told me he honestly didn't know what to do. So far, nothing from the owner (who is a fool if he thinks I'm going to let this go). The point of this rambling is to note that #31 on the list was Spend the Day with Lily in Broad Ripple. Okay, it wasn't the whole day (and we never did find out where the hookah bar was), but it was long enough. Believe me.

Three completed tasks = $15. Add that to the $35 I've already earned, and that makes $50 for TBD charity.

I Want a Do-Over!

2009-03-29T18:58:00.009-04:00

I just got back from Ball State University, where my firstborn is a freshman. We attended a parent information meeting for students who will be studying abroad next year. Robin is enrolled for the Fall semester of her sophomore year at The London Centre in - yes - London, England. How lucky is this kid to be beautiful, intelligent, genuinely sweet and goodhearted, and headed off for the adventure of a lifetime?? I'm not gonna lie, I'm green with envy.

So, I want a do-over. I'll willingly go back to the 80s with my big hair and even bigger glasses in order to take advantage of being young and unencumbered, back before the loss of estrogen left my memory looking like a slice of Swiss cheese. I volunteer to relive The Cold War, Howard the Duck, Puttin' on the Ritz, shoulder pads and Mr. Hardwick's Geometry class if that's what it takes. I just can't believe I so stupidly wasted my youth.

The DeLorean's warmed up and ready to go....

The only caveat is I still want to be Robin and Lily's mom when I get back.

In Case You Don't Already Waste Enough Time Online

2009-03-27T13:06:00.005-04:00

Click on the red ball and drag over to the column of your choice. Release the ball, and hopefully score big points.

This game and the fish feeder in the sidebar are courtesy of aBowman. Check it out for more bloggy gadget goodness.

Talk About Random

2009-03-25T19:49:00.006-04:00

I have this tote bag that I lug back and forth to work. I'm not sure why. It's not like I bring work home, carry a laptop or anything like that. Part of it is I'm too lazy to pack a lunchbox the night before, so I just toss things into the bag before I head out every morning. And I do toss my work shoes in there if they're heels. A couple of weeks ago I decided to clean it out. Here's what I found:

a deck of Snoopy playing cards
a two-year-old iPod, never used
a small radio with the iPod earplugs
crumbs from unknown food items
black thong undies
ear muffs
beret
two pairs of white ankle socks

I'm trying to remember the last time I wore black thong undies, why I would have removed them at work, and if I ever wore those last four items at the same time.

I'm Baa-aack!

2009-03-22T16:30:00.003-04:00

Yes, I've returned - intact - from my trip to Jamaica. What? You didn't even realize I was gone? How rude. Just for that, I shouldn't even share my vacation with you...but I guess I'm just too generous for my own good. Here ya go:

We had a great time! We got to the resort around 1 pm on Sunday, and signed in at the Hospitality Desk where we were greeted with adult beverages and chocolate chip cookies. I liked the place immediately. We then changed into our swimsuits and hit the beach. Here we are checking out the sights. That's me on the left.

HA! Just kidding (sort of).

Our dinner the first night was beautifully set up on the beach. I'm not sure why I didn't take pictures that night, but it was gorgeous. I got to meet Kim's sales group and their wives. What a genuinely nice group of people.

Kim was involved with business Monday morning, so I was on my own. I busied myself exploring the grounds and taking pictures. For some reason, one of the groundskeepers thought this was a hoot and felt it necessary to climb out of the bushes to tell me so. Apparently, no other guests have ever taken photos there??

That evening was the formal dinner. What a production, but in a good way. The ballroom was very elegant, the food delicious. After dinner, they had a live band with dancing. Great fun.

Tuesday we went on our catamaran sail. We headed out into the ocean to do some snorkeling. There was an abundance of coral, but not really much in the way of sea life. Regardless, the water felt spectacular. I think those pictures are on my water camera, so I don't have any to show you.

Of course, Tuesday was St. Patrick's Day, and Fiserv had rented the entire Margaritaville restaurant in town. More great food and drinks. After we got back to the resort, Kim's co-worker Jerry invited us all up to his suite. Jerry won Chairperson of the Year, which is a pretty big deal; so we all headed up there to help him celebrate. Dennis, who I think may be Kim's boss, asked if her invitation for next year should read "Kim and Becky." I told him that I could speak for Kim, and she said yes.

Wednesday was our day to go horseback riding. Kim is a horse person; I'm not. Now, I willingly agreed to go horseback riding because I have a tendency to forget I'm scared of horses until I'm standing right next to one. No sooner do we get to the stables and are being assigned horses when one of the little bastards bit some lady on the shoulder, and bit her hard. If that had been me, I would have refused to go and sat on the bus crying. Of course, this set everyone on edge as we were all sure we were going to be devoured by a herd of satanic Jamaican horses. Once we got going, though, the humans all calmed down and the horses did what they have been trained to do. It was actually a nice ride except when we had to trot. Ouch. I am still sore today. Finally, we got to a cove where they unsaddled three or four horses. If you wanted, you could ride a hose bareback into the water where it eventually got deep enough that the horse was actually swimming. THAT was pretty cool until you noticed all the horse turds floating in the water. Then it was, "DON'TFALLOFF! DON'TFALLOFF! DON'TFALLOFF!" It was bad enough to realize my body was in poopy water, but I certainly didn't want it in my hair or on my face. Those pictures are ALSO on my water camera and being developed.

Wednesday's dinner was held at the Great House at Rose Hall. There is a story there about an earlier mistress of this historic sugar cane plantation. Annie Palmer was apparently a little tyrant who dabbled in voodoo, promiscuous relations with her slaves, and murder. Legend says that she still haunts the home. We took a tour, and it is a pretty impressive place. Here are a couple of photos I took and if those aren't ghostly orbs, then what are they? Spooky.

They had palm and tarot card readers for the guests. Let me tell you: you have not lived until you've had your palm read by a Jamaican with a severe speech impediment. I could not understand her, but felt it rude to keep saying, "Huh? What?" so I just nodded and smiled, hoping she wasn't telling me to avoid air travel in my immediate future.

The big announcement that evening was the 2010 trip would be to - drum roll, please - Riviera Maya in Mexico!! Very exciting. Kimmy needs to get out there and hustle her buns so that we can do this again!

As you can guess, I am now indebted to Kim for eternity. I suspect that means I'll have to bow out of the little power struggle we've been having over Keith Urban. I just hope she doesn't decide to give him MY trip to Mexico.

BHS Spring Concert

2009-03-12T20:20:00.006-04:00

The high school held their Spring Concert the other night. This was the first time they did reserved seating tickets, and it was wonderful!!! No pressure to get there early to snag a good seat, no unplugging oxygen tanks to slow down old ladies headed to the front row. For the record, I still feel somewhat bad about that...

I have to say, the choir teachers do a fantastic job with those kids. I love how they always make the Freshmen "Men's" Choir do some sort of song that involves goofy motions, and I love how each and every boy actually cooperates and does it!

Lily's choir performed two songs, which are below. She is the foxy brunette in the center of the activity.

Be patient; Lily's part doesn't start until about :41, but I wasn't going to let anyone else horn in on her camera time.

Here's their second song:

Next year she's in two choirs: Bel Canto and Concert Choir. I can't wait!

Gut-Busting Love

2009-03-07T19:16:00.008-05:00

If I can write a post on our Holiday Party seven weeks after the fact, then I can do my Valentine's Day post three weeks late....right? Right. Not that it's that exciting, I just didn't want to waste the candy heart generator I found.

John and I didn't have plans for the BIG DAY, so I thought what could I do that shows how I truly feel about him? I made reservations at White Castle. If the words slider, gut-buster, belly bomb and rectum rocket don't represent 23 years of marriage, I don't know what does. Okay, maybe not the last one. For those of you who do not live in one of the eleven states graced by the presence of White Castle, it's similar to Krystal hamburgers; and if you don't have one of those near you, sorry about your luck. White Castles are delicious little square burgers topped with the perfect amount of onion and pickle, available 24 hours a day. It is the place to go when winding up a night of debauchery. It's also pretty much known for it's hillbilly clientele, which is why I thought it would be perfect for us. I didn't tell John where we were going, and his panicked, "Why are you stopping here?" when I pulled up in front of the restaurant had me re-thinking my decision early. He thought I was taking him out for a steak dinner...oops. STRIKE ONE.

John attempting to be a good sport.

White Castle promotes Valentine's Day dinner with tablecloths, flowers and candles on the table. Imagine my shock and disappointment when this evening did not live up to everything I'd hoped. First of all, the "tablecloth" was not only just plastic, but it was about the cheapest plastic they could find and was taped to the table crookedly. Other tables had candles, but ours didn't, AND we only had one artificial flower in our vase (everyone else had two). STRIKE TWO.

I don't want to be too hard on the kid who waited on us; afterall, he's normally behind the counter, not waiting tables. However, he took our drink order then promptly forgot to bring them to us. He also tried to take our food away while we were still eating. STRIKE THREE.

Despite the lack of ambiance and sub-par service, my appetite was unaffected and I managed to snarf down my dinner:

...and I wonder why I'm fat?

The evening was kind of a let down. I was hoping for some funny redneck encounter, but no such luck. John did suggest we go walk around Walmart after dinner to keep the theme going, but we just rented some movies instead. For the life of me, I can't even remember what they were. I guess I'll have to come up with something pretty special next year.

Oh...If any White Castle execs are reading this, I would like to suggest that for next year they pass candy hearts out to customers after dinner. A sweet remembrance of the evening:

A Vote for Ringo is a Vote for World Peace

2009-03-03T12:42:00.008-05:00

I entered Ringo in the Bissell MVP Pet Photo Contest. I'm hoping he makes it through the first round. Grand Prize is a $10,000 donation to the pet charity of the winner's choice. IF he were to go all the way and win, I'm donating the money to the Kentuckiana Pug Rescue, which my sister is very involved with. In fact, that's where she got her pug, Hank. The rescue has had some real financial hardship in the past year, and I would love to be able to help them out.

It's one vote per e-mail address; if you have multiple addresses, use them all! Addresses are used for voting purposes only, and you are not added onto any e-mail lists.

Please take a minute to click on the picture below and vote for Ringo!! Voting is open until March 10.

I thank you, Ringo thanks you, and the pugs thank you!

Vote for Ringo!

You Know What They Say About Paybacks....

2009-03-02T20:08:00.005-05:00

Good God...I practically had to beg John to read my Newlywed Game post, and now I'm sorry I did! There was no laughter on his part, not even a chortle. He said, "You wouldn't like it if I got on there and wrote that stuff about you." Well, duh...that's one of the reasons I won't show him how to start a blog! I told him to fill it out about me however he wanted, and I would post his answers. It took him forever to fill out the survey, and he kind of looked like this:

However, he finally finished but he didn't use the opportunity to exact his revenge, so I'm not sure why he bothered. Unless it was just to shut me up. Yeh, that's probably it.

By the way, he chose Red Wings over Colts (grounds for divorce) and said he orders chocolate milk a lot. I stand corrected.

1. She's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? Desperate Housewives or Dancing With the Stars (I would have said Food Network.)

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad? Oil & Vinegar or House Vinaigrette. (Ding!)

3. What's one food she doesn't like? Ham & bologna sandwich with double meat. (Coconut would be the correct answer here.)

4. You go out to eat. What drink does she order? Coke Zero or Coors Light. (Ding!)

5. Where did she go to high school? New Palestine High School (Ding!)

6. What size shoe does she wear? 5 1/2. Tom's are 9s, which she has worn. (Try 7, and I only wear Tom's snowboots when shoveling the driveway.)

7. If she was to collect anything, what would it be? Keith Urban, Harry Connick, Jr.; no particular order. (Wait...I'm allowed to collect hot guys? That's a whole other post.)

8. What is her favorite type of sandwich? Ham, chicken; never wrapped in plastic - foil is best. (He got the meat wrong, but the packing instructions right so I'll give it to him. Ding!) Wow...taken out of context, that's a doozy of a sentence.

9. What would she eat every day if she could? Fresh fruit. (I can eat fresh fruit every day. What I would like to eat every day is cake with buttercream icing.)

10. What is her favorite cereal? Something Diet - Special K. (Did he just call me fat? My favorite is Cracklin' Oat Bran)

11. What would she never wear? Something that I think is really hot out in public. (Ding! Okay, sometime I will do a post on what John thinks is hot. )

12. What is her favorite sports team? Colts, duh. (Ding!)

13. Who did she vote for? McCain (Ding!)

14. Who is her best friend? Sister Sarah, the other Sarah, T. Jackson - Todd or Theresa (This is where John sells himself short, but I'll give him a Ding! for Sister Sarah.)

15. What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn't do? All those things she bitches at me about. (Ding!)

16. What is her heritage? Let's see...Kentuckian, American Indian...she's white. (huh, and all this time I thought he was unobservant.)

17. You bake her a cake for her birthday; what kind of cake? She likes most cakes. (Did he just call me fat again? Ding!)

18. Did she play sports in high school? No, but she should have. She had softball, tennis and volleyball skills. (Ding!)

19. What could she spend hours doing? Computer stuff, scrapbooking, sleeping with the dogs. (Ding!)

20. What is one unique talent she has? Spending control, for one. An absolute great mom for our kids. (I think he means I'm cheap for the first answer. For the second, that's sweet. Ding!)

The Newlywed Game

2009-02-25T17:26:00.007-05:00

I got this survey on Facebook the other day, but it seemed like a waste to fill out since John doesn't have a Facebook account. So, today, Ms. Alix over at Casa Hice filled it out with regards to her dreamboat Larry. AH-HA! What a great way for me to publicly insult John AND see how often he reads my blog. It's a win-win.

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? Fox News

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? He doesn't usually eat salads, but if forced, eats it without dressing (but sprinkled with a few of his tears).

3. What's one food he doesn't like? Only one? Tomatoes or Beans are at the top of his list.

4. You go out to eat. What drink does he order? Coke with no ice - OR - OJ w/Malibu rum

5. Where did he go to high school? St. Mary's High School; Inkster, MI

6. What size shoe does he wear? 8 to 9 - depending if they're men's or women's

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Oh, let's see...swords or antique guns. Something he would lose interest in after 5 minutes and I would end up having to dust or sell in a garage sale for a fraction of what he paid.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Bologna and ham with double meat.

9. What would he eat every day if he could? Pizza.

10. What is his favorite cereal? In all the years I've known him, he's only recently requested I buy cereal and that was Raisin Bran.

11. What would he never wear? Believe it or not, I would say a bracelet.

12. What is his favorite sports team? We just had this conversation not too long ago, and I can't remember if he picked Colts or Red Wings.

13. Who did he vote for? Really?

14. Who is his best friend? A long time ago he told one of the girls it was me, but that's probably changed.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? hmmm....that's a tough one because I'm so perfect. Let's see...let the dogs sleep in our bed or maybe make fun of him on the internet.

16. What is his heritage? Columbian, which defies the whole dislike of beans and tomatoes. I think he was honkified by his mother.

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Chocolate. In fact, he tries to get everyone to have chocolate cake for their birthday; AND he calls dibs on a corner piece, even when it's not his special day.

18. Did he play sports in high school? When he wasn't helping old ladies across the street and polishing his halo, he was the Inkster stud of hockey, football and baseball.

19. What could he spend hours doing? Watching TV.

20. What is one unique talent he has? It's one of the reasons I've hung around so long. Can you guess? He's really good at finding money.

John, If you're still reading...I challenge you to answer these questions about me, and I will post the results.

Oh, Hey There....

2009-02-20T20:24:00.001-05:00

So, now you're here and I don't have anything new to post. Actually I do, but it's kind of a lengthy post with lots of pictures. I'm recuperating from a near-death experience, so I don't have the strength to deal with that right now. Please check back soon. Thanks.

Movin' On Up....

2009-02-20T19:57:00.000-05:00

I've had several people complain to me they can't access this blog. They either get an error message or their computer freezes, especially when they try to leave a message. I don't know what the problem is. I've never had any trouble getting to the site on my laptop, but I know John has trouble accessing it from our PC...although that could actually be user error.

Just kidding, it's gotten funky on me using the desktop as well. Since I have absolutely no idea what to do about it, I've decided to move my posts to a new blog, The Courteous Chihuahua Redux. If you'd like to come along for the ride, please join me.

I'm going to disable comments here, and hopefully you'll all come over and play at my new digs.

Tainted Love

2009-02-14T22:27:00.000-05:00

You might think the soundtrack for today would be Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On", Queen's "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" or even Sonny & Cher's "I Got You, Babe" - but you would be wrong. The song I've been singing all day is Tainted Love as this is a reasonable facsimile of John's mug today:

Oh, well...at least it gave me a reason to resurrect this video. Welcome to the freak show, and Happy Valentine's Day.

The Eighth Sign of the Apocalypse

2009-02-13T19:07:00.000-05:00

My 67-year-old mother got a Facebook account the other night. The following is a text exchange between me and Robin after she received a Friend Request from her grandmother:

Seventh Task Accomplished

2009-02-11T17:48:00.000-05:00

When I put "attend a high school basketball game" on the list, I was thinking more along the lines of the high school in the town we live. They won the state championship for their division last year, but I never made it to a game, so I thought that might be a fun thing to do this season. Because I'm senile, I forgot that the NPHS Class of 1981 attempts to have a little soiree every year at the Dragons' basketball homecoming. It was the Fearless Foursome (me, Kathy, Karen and Kim - I may need to change my name to Kecky) in attendance, but we encountered some others who still live in the area and have kids at the high school. The Dragons got their asses handed to them 71-44: ouch!! I still don't know who won Homecoming King and Queen because the speaker system in the gym was terrible. I felt like I was in a Charlie Brown cartoon. After, the game, we headed over to the Around the Corner Pub, the old post office that is now the one and only bar in town. It was standing room only when we got there at 9 p.m. You'd think there wasn't anything else to do in that town. Oh, wait - there isn't. We stood around and talked for awhile and listened to some karaoke. Although Kathy did a lovely version of Killing Me Softly, the highlight of my evening was getting walked in on in the bathroom. The lock was broken, but there were some ladies outside who knew I was in there and were allegedly standing guard. Unfortunately, another patron had placed her coat in the bathroom supply closet and just barged past them to retrieve it. It went like this:

door opens

Me: "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Woman with no Boundaries: "It's okay, I just want to get my coat."

Me (in mid wipe): "NOOOOOO! It's not okay!"

Woman (who at least had the decency to enter backwards and not look at me): "Really, it's okay."

Me (defeated and pulling up my pants): "noooo..."

At least the ladies who were supposed to be guarding the door were shocked and apologetic when I came out.

Did I mention I think the couple who came out of the restroom before me had sex in there???

Thank God Homecoming is only once a year.

P.S. - TBD Charity has $35.

Karen, Kathy, Kim and Chris

Kim and Mary

Chris and Danny

Sixth Task Done

2009-02-05T19:44:00.000-05:00

I did this last weekend and forgot to write about it! Number 7 on the infamous list has been done. I started a Christmas Club account. Technically, it's just a checking account because my bank is in the process of merging, and they aren't offering Christmas Club accounts right now. I'm having money direct deposited each pay period, so I won't even notice it missing out of my paycheck. In November, I'll make a withdrawal and go Christmas shopping. Yippee!! Additionally, TBD charity now has $30.

Butterflies are Free to Fly

2009-02-02T19:01:00.000-05:00

...and another has landed on my blog. Excitement! This time it's from Flartus - you can catch her here at My 2 Sense. I highly recommend you do. She's pretty dag blamed smart, and her posts are always interesting, so I'm very honored that she would give this steaming pile the time of day. She says, "The Courteous Chihuahua certainly lives up to her name (well, the first part, at least). I have to confess, I skip through the football posts, but this blog has such a real, warm and humorous voice, it's like stopping to say hi to a friend. And isn't that what a good blog is about?"

Because I'm a dope, I don't know how to add the second award picture, so I just added my thanks to her under the first one.

Oh, and Flartus...don't think I didn't notice the part about you skipping my football posts. That hurts.

New in Town

2009-01-31T21:35:00.000-05:00

We went and saw New in Town with Harry Connick, Jr. and Renee Zellweger. Well, we didn't go with them, they were in the movie.

I loves me some HC, Jr. I love his voice, insanely mad piano skills, sense of humor, hunkiness....sigh. He is the total package. I like Renee Zellweger as an actress, but there is something not right with her face.

The movie is pretty formulatic: fish out of water comes to town, nobody likes her, she changes, finds love, everybody likes her. I'm not letting any cats out of any bags here. You all knew that's what happens, right? Lots of jokes about how Minnesotans talk funny and are square. Everyone in the theatre seemed to be enjoying it from all the gut busting laughter I heard, which I kind of didn't get. It was cute, but this was Blazing Saddles kind of belly laughs. Maybe I just wasn't feeling well watching Harry and Renee mack on each other.

Blehhhh.....

So, to erase that sight from my mind (and possibly yours), here is a little gift from me to you. My favoritist HC, Jr. song. If you have to watch a commercial first, I apologize. However, it's really short and I couldn't embed the You Tube version, so I had to go with Yahoo.

My girls used to call this "The Bakery Song", because of the "Pass me some of that fried chicken!" line.

Please enjoy:

Here Comes The Big Parade @ Yahoo! Video

Look What I Found!

2009-01-29T20:24:00.000-05:00

It's a post from early December that never got published. Huh. Oh, well; here it is. Better late than never.

Our company holiday party was a couple of weeks ago at the Mavris in downtown Indianapolis. You do not know how much I love that place. It's an old warehouse that has been turned into an event venue. Wood floors, exposed brick walls, tall windows. John Mavris, the owner, and his staff are wonderful to work with. Robin, from Jonathan Byrd's catering, and her group were awesome as well. Oh, and I loved the centerpieces Enflora designed. Since we've held two consecutive holiday parties at Mavris, tradition dictates we move to another location next year. Wherever we end up, they have some pretty big shoes to fill. Photography provided by The Camera Room.

This is Marc trying to be "one cool muthuh phucka." At least Scrawny Steph looks cute!

Oh, James and Greshawn....I don't know about you two.

Here's our very own Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. Just kidding!!! Although I found out that night Julie's expecting her third baby!! Those two need a hobby that involves clothing.

You would never guess from this picture that Bridgie was 9 months pregnant, had a tailbone out of alignment, along with strep, bronchitis, and a sinus infection. If you'd like to witness the full effect, see below.

Work Posse

Marie and Frank Barone, the early years.

After dinner was dancing and general merriment.

Does this group know how to get down and get funky, or what?

Everyone was pretty well behaved, except this guy.

I've got a restraining order against him.

Jamaica Me Crazy!

2009-01-27T21:01:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling kind of low. I won't go into all of the details, because it really isn't important. What's important is the angel who descended from heaven and made my life worth living again. Do you remember my friend, Kim? Well, she just happens to be one of those annoying people who went to college, paid attention, got good grades and subsequently a degree and an awesome job. Because she is a go-getter and super-duper producer of whatever it she does (yes, she's told me...but I might not have been paying attention), she is the recipient of an all expense paid trip to Jamaica, and she asked me to go as her guest!!

WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!

I believe we are staying at the Ritz Carlton in Montego Bay.

WOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!

Can you tell I'm excited? Did I mention she's THE smartest, most beautiful and wonderful person I know?? We are going to have so much fun. I cannot wait.

Now, aside from severing limbs and removing internal organs, does anyone have a good way to lose 30 pounds in less than two months?

I Think I'm In Love with Paul Blart

2009-01-24T19:21:00.000-05:00

I went and saw Paul Blart: Mall Cop today. Yes, I did. Now...this movie isn't going to win any Oscars (or even be nominated for that matter), but it was funnier than I expected. I will tell you that I love Kevin James, so I may not really be an impartial critic.

There are some good 80s songs throughout the movie; I was singing this one all of the way home:

Think I'm In Love @ Yahoo! Video

Ah, 1982 - back in the day when videos were good. I had forgotten about this one. I had also forgotten that Eddie Money looks like he has no upper teeth and that his name should be Lester. Who else always thought the lyrics were, "I think I'm in love, and I can't get it up?"

I've Been Butterflied!

2009-01-24T14:16:00.000-05:00

No, not cut and spread open flat like shrimp or pork chops. Ugh! This is much better (but then, what wouldn't be?)! The delightful Alix over at Casa Hice bestowed a Butterfly Award on me. We "met" over at Cake Wrecks reading each others' comments, and she likes me, she really likes me!! Okay, that's saying something because she is smart, funny, well spoken/written, although I do suspect a little crazy. PLUS, she's got a pretty fancy blog. To honor Alix and this momentous occasion, you can see I've butterfly blinged out my blog. I still couldn't figure out the music thing, but that's okay.

I gratefully accept her kudos, and must now find ten (!) blogs to pay it forward.

The Rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog.

2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.

3. Award up to ten other blogs.

4. Add links to those blogs on yours.

5. Leave a message for your awardees on their blogs.

So my first awardee will be Ashley, over at Read Me! She literally just started her blog, but she's a good little writer, and I think she'll be a hit. I've read a few blogs of other college age kids, and they're not quite as articulate or concerned about grammar, spelling and punctuation as she is! Yay! I heart nerds!! Go check it out.

Fifth Task Done

2009-01-21T20:19:00.000-05:00

My stepson, Tom, has been out of the Navy and back home in Indiana for close to nine months. In that time, he's asked several times when I'm going to make his favorite dinner, Pork Chops Ole´. Poor Tom. He was gone for nine years, and a lot has changed. I went back to work. I'm no longer Suzy Homemaker whose life revolves around keeping the house clean and putting a homecooked meal on the table every night. So, feeling somewhat sorry for the little goof, I put fixing that dinner for him as #91 on the list. Of course, he doesn't read my blog and cares nothing about my list. He just wanted a free dinner. Robin ended up coming home for the long weekend and bringing Ashley and Stephanie with her, so we had a full house for dinner. I have to admit, it was fun hanging out with the youngsters. Tom stayed after dinner to watch Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid with me; however, the absolute second the movie was over, he ditched me to go hang out with some chick. Uh, you're welcome.

Here's the recipe if you are interested: Pork Chops Ole´

TBD Charity now has $25.

This One's for Cary

2009-01-20T19:40:00.000-05:00

I don't know why Cary wanted to see the love child of Mr. T and Jared of Subway fame...but as Cary himself says, "Whatever tickles your chicken."

I bet the kid's first words will be, "Put double meat on that sammich, Fool!"

What do you think about my little new baby Glarg?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

Having My Baby

2009-01-17T20:13:00.000-05:00

Okay...so I saw a link over at List of the Day and had to immediately check it out. It's called MakeMeBabies. You can upload your picture and pair it with anyone you have a picture of. The website provides pictures of celebrities if that's the route you want to go. Please know that I have ABSOLUTELY NO DESIRE to have a baby, but couldn't resist the thought of me and Keith Urban doing the Horizontal Mambo.

HA! HA! Take that Nicole....

What do you think about my little new baby Friday Carnation?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

I don't think this looks like either of my kids (definitely not Lily), but here's what happened when I used the actual father of my children:

What do you think about my little new baby Robin or Lily?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

Here's an unholy coupling; me and John in our Halloween costumes. Now, why did they give us a little genie baby in a turban? Look closely, though. Notice the kid has a wonky front tooth.

What do you think about my little new baby Shania Dolly?
MakeMeBabies.com - What will your baby look like?

The Letter D

2009-01-14T21:35:00.000-05:00

My fellow blogger and Cake Wrecks fan, Liz, invited her readers to play a game. She assigns you a letter, and you must then come up with a post on ten things you like that begin with that letter. In honor of Tony Dungy's retirement as the Colts Head Coach, she gave me the letter D. Since I already paid homage to him in an earlier post, he won't be on this list.

Daughters.

Mine.

They are

smart,

funny,

beautiful inside and out

and

all-around terrific.

DSW (Designer Shoe Warehouse)

I love the Clearance Aisle.

Drinking.

I do enjoy an adult beverage.

Diamonds.

I got this necklace in honor of the

Colts Superbowl XLI Victory.

Decorating Cakes.

I'm not the best,

I'm not the worst.

Deodorant.

It makes the world a much better place.

Disco.

Mock me all you want,

but every year I request KC & the Sunshine Band

at our work holiday party,

and the dance floor gets crowded.

Diet Dr. Pepper

It REALLY does taste more like regular Dr. Pepper

Donuts.

I cannot resist them.

I was stoked when Dunkin Donuts came to town,

only to be greatly disappointed.

$8 a dozen? That's insane.

PLUS, there was hardly any filling in them. Boooo!

Dogs.

These two.

Even though they are yappy little pains in the butt.

Thanks, Liz! That was a lot of fun!!

So Long, Coach

2009-01-13T20:48:00.000-05:00

The Devil Is Lacing Up His Ice Skates

2009-01-11T19:57:00.000-05:00

Please don't tell anyone, but I rooted for the Steelers today. Well, as much as I can root for a team that's not the Colts and that I hate with ever fiber of my being. Sigh...I see my second favorite Manning's team lost today, so I officially don't give a rat's butt about the rest of the playoffs.

Fourth Task Finito!

2009-01-11T13:45:00.000-05:00

Number 65 on the list is done. Several months ago, we noticed the seam on the back cushion of the loveseat was coming apart, and the cushion itself was actually separating from the frame. It also feels like the spring or whatever support system is on the left side is shot, as that side feels a little saggy. I can't really do anything about the sag, but at least I used my "killer" seamstress skills to close up the cushion and secure it. Now, Arnold Ziffel, I mean - Ringo won't be able to sit up there and pull the stuffing out. Ahhhh, I love living in Green Acres. I believe this damage was caused by teenagers hurling themselves onto the loveseat as teenagers as wont to do, but certain people in this house got very defensive when I suggested that, threw a tantrum and hurled themselves onto the loveseat in protest. Even though most people never would have noticed it, I feel much better getting that repaired. Now, I can watch my "stories" with a clear conscience.

Oh, and TBD Charity now has a whopping $20.

Third Task Accomplished

2009-01-08T19:05:00.000-05:00

Number 72 (wearing my glasses instead of contacts for one week) on the list is done. Let me tell you, it was painful - literally. All I got for my trouble were two sore spots on the bridge of my nose. However, I did look pretty sexy.

My TBD charity got another $5...so the pot's up to $15 now. Go me.

Colts 17, Chargers 23

2009-01-04T09:34:00.000-05:00

Trying to look on the bright side...

At least this frees up the rest of the month for shopping!

Second Task Accomplished

2009-01-03T17:00:00.000-05:00

Number Nine, Number Nine. Mark that one off my list.

Day 3, and I've already accomplished two tasks. When I made the list, we had just enjoyed the Broadway production of The Lion King at The Murat so including attendance at events like this was at the top of my mind. No sooner did I make my list, I was offered two free tickets to see This Wonderful Life, a one-man adaptation of the holiday classic, It's a Wonderful Life, at Indiana Repertory Theatre. I'm not obsessed with this movie as some people are, but I don't think you have to be to appreciate this show. Lily's only seen bits and pieces of the movie, and she really enjoyed it. Jerry Richardson did a great job acting out all the parts, and the simple stage and few props used are a wonderful complement to his performance.

Additionally, I now have $10 in my TBD charity account.

First Task Accomplished

2009-01-02T21:20:00.000-05:00

WOOOOOT!!!

The first goal of my 101 Things to do in 1001 Days (#100) has been completed. My friend, Karen, was so inspired by my list that she started one of her own! Her list is interesting, and I would link you to it, but she posted it on Facebook, not a blog. Sorry, you'll just have to take my word for how cool it is. But here's a picture of Karen and her man, just because they're so cute, and he's involved in her #35 and #54!

That also means the first $5 goes into my TBD charity account.

Good luck, Karen!

For He's a Jolly Good Fellow

2009-01-02T20:36:00.000-05:00

Which nobody can deny!

AP NFL Most Valuable Player

While I'm very happy for Peyton, I started getting a sinking feeling in my stomach about 30 minutes ago. No, it wasn't the shrimp scampi I had for dinner. I just feel very nervous about this. I hope this is all unfounded and the Colts come out swinging and kick some Charger ass. Oh, who am I kidding? If they win by 1, I'll be happy!

Indiana Pacers

2008-12-29T20:59:00.000-05:00

So, we didn't go to the Colts game on Sunday, but went that night to a Pacer game. I know...crazy, right? Here's the deal. The last time I went to a Pacer game was their first season at Conseco Fieldhouse which was ten years ago. The whole atmosphere was thug-like, and I hated every minute of it. If I'm not mistaken, they were actually in the NBA championship finals, and I didn't even know until it was over. That's how much I didn't care about them. Over the past year, the Pacers marketing gurus have been working diligently to get fans interested in the team again, and it's worked. I mentioned to John a few weeks ago that maybe we should give them another shot. Lo and behold, his company was offering a promotion to buy discounted Pacer tickets. We bought two center court seats (row 17) that normally sell for $145 for - get this: $25 dollars each. That's insane! Needless to say, those were nice seats. The atmosphere was much changed: family friendly music, $10 dollar t-shirts (John and I each got one), and the ushers seemed to be keeping a pretty close eye on everyone. The visiting team was the New Orleans Hornets. Wait...when did they leave Charlotte?? I really am out of the loop. I only knew one player on the team going in: Danny Granger. Once we got there, I actually recognized Marquis Daniels and Jeff Foster. It was a good game, unfortunately, the Pacers lost in the last few seconds. I was disappointed, but not inconsolable like after a Colts loss. I'll tell you what, Conseco Fieldhouse feels like a high school gymnasium after spending the past few months watching football in the mammoth Lucas Oil Field.

TIP OFF

MASCOT ANTICS

101 Things to do in 1001 Days

2008-12-29T19:40:00.001-05:00

Instead of New Year's resolutions, I thought I would attempt 101 Things to do in 1001 Days.

Here's how it works:

The Mission: Complete 101 pre-set tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria: Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days? Many people have created lists in the past — frequently simple goals such as new year’s resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Goal setting tips

Be decisive. Know exactly what you want, why you want it, and how you plan to achieve it.
Stay Focused. Any goal requires sustained focus from beginning to end. Constantly evaluate your progress.
Welcome Failure. Frequently, very little is learned from a venture that did not experience failure in some form. Failure presents the opportunity to learn and makes the success more worthy.
Write down your goals. It clarifies your thinking and reinforces your commitment.
Keep your goals in sight. Review them frequently, and ensure that they are always at the forefront of your thinking.

The official timeline for my 101 is 1/1/09 through 9/29/11. If you'd like to try this, it doesn't have to be a New Year's start; that just worked out for me. You can start any date you like, or set it up to end on a momentous date, i.e. a milestone birthday or anniversary.

ADDENDUM: You're supposed to strike through the goals you've accomplished once that happens. Because I am challenged in this area, I will change the text color to red once a goal is completed. For goals that are ongoing, such as church attendance and poop patrol, once they have been successfully done for two months, I will change that text color to blue. Make sense?

Here are my 101 in no particular order:

re-learn crochet
lose 30 pounds
maintain said weight loss for remainder of 1001 days
blow the dust off my exercise ball and band set and start using them
attempt waterskiing
attend church at least twice a month
start a Christmas Club account
finish Lily’s scrapbook
attend a production at IRT
attend a production at Beef ‘n Boards
attend a production at The Murat
find a long term volunteer opportunity to become passionate about
learn to dive
get all pictures on computer copied to CDs
re-do Robin’s bedroom
re-do main bath
re-do master bath
new kitchen counters
install organizer in bedroom closet
visit Indiana State Museum
visit Indianapolis Museum of Art
get family pictures from Mom copied
learn to use some sort of photoshop-type software
get some sort of sun damage treatment done on my face
use sunscreen
take an out-of-state weekend trip by myself
climb Mount Baldy
do front yard poop patrol at least once a week
enroll Ringo in obedience class
get Lola’s teeth cleaned
spend a day with Lily in Broad Ripple
balance checkbook every week
clean out the attic
spend a day at the spa
visit a winery
go to a high school basketball game
buy some good bras
figure out my iPod
visit the Eli Lilly Home
buy a cupcake from The Flying Cupcake
go to England
buy something at a thrift store
call Dad once a week
visit Crown Hill Cemetery
go duckpin bowling
go camping
go to an apple orchard or U-pick produce farm
go to an IMAX movie
ride the carousel at the Children’s Museum
birdwatch
go to a farmers’ market
use the firepit on the deck
reconnect with an old friend
plant a tree
go hiking in a state park I haven’t been to in at least a year
go boating somewhere other than Lieber or Glenn Flint
attend work-related seminar or class
try sushi
buy a wig
clean carpets quarterly
do something with Grandma’s quilt pieces
actually go someplace to watch 4th of July fireworks
buy a basket for my bike
have a fire in the fireplace
repair loveseat cushion
say the Rosary at church
go on a carriage ride downtown
participate in a 5k
make pasta from scratch
have a Christmas open house
grow my own tomatoes
wear glasses for a week
whiten my teeth
record every penny I spend for one week
make ice cream
donate blood every 56 days or so
buy more sheets
new carpet in family room
write a thank you letter for product or services
host a ladies’ night at Creative Escape
visit the Metropolitan Community Church
find a signature perfume
re-do my blog so IE users can view
make 70s cheesy music CD for Farmer
attend an away Colts game
buy a t-shirt from nataliedee.com
make homemade doughnuts
attend a Switzerland County First Friday
sign up for a water aerobics class
refrain from shopping at Walmart for one month
invite Tom over for pork chops olé
complete a 500-piece (at least) jigsaw puzzle
play bingo at the Legion
finish cross stitch project given to me by Betty
make caramels - successfully
get home wireless mess figured out
play Fantasy Football
go vegetarian for one week
complete my Everybody Loves Raymond and Seinfeld DVD collections
for every completed goal, $5 goes into a fund for a TBD charity
inspire at least one other person to start a 101 list

Colts 23, Titans 0

2008-12-29T18:00:00.000-05:00

In anticipation of a game played mostly by second and third string players, we did not attend Sunday's game at Lucas, but instead watched from home. It turned out to be pretty entertaining, even into the last few minutes. Records were broken: Peyton, Marvin, Dallas, Tony. Having said that, records are nice and all, but really won't mean a whole lot without a Super Bowl XLIV victory. But first, we'll (ha! like I'm on the team) have to get past the Chargers in San Diego.

It was fun to watch the game with Robin, Lily and their friend Jordan. Robin, however, needs to get a grip on herself. She thinks Anthony Gonzalez is cute. Uh...not really. Jordan said he looks like a "buffoon." That's a little harsh, but my main problem is his baldness. I just don't like bald guys, but then and again, I'm not sure he'd be my cup of tea even with hair.* To test that theory, I went to Instyle and whipped up a few examples. What do you think?

*For the record, I'm quite certain Gonzo has no shortage of female admirers, and that he couldn't care less what some slightly overweight, middleaged blogger thinks.

Merry Christmas to all...

2008-12-24T14:50:00.000-05:00

Disco Elf Dance

2008-12-22T18:42:00.000-05:00

It just so happens I have pictures of me, Bridget, Stephanie and Gretchen wearing white afro wigs which are the perfect accessory when dressing like an elf. Since disco's the music of my era and this is my blog, that's the dance I chose. Check out Jib Jab where you can Elf Yourself anyway you like.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Colts 31, Jaguars 24

2008-12-20T13:07:00.000-05:00

That was a good game - unless you're a Jacksonville fan. I'm sure they were licking their collective chops at the half. Peyton was actually putting up some good numbers the first half, they just weren't getting anywhere. It's amazing how much difference it makes when the defense decides to play. Oh, and John says he doesn't think Vinatieri will be back next year. With that victory, the Colts became the first team in NFL history to win three games on the road in one season after trailing by at least 14 points. Probably a record we'd rather not have to even deal with, but there it is. By the way, I hate Jack Del Rio. I don't know why, really; I just do. It was nice to see Reggie Wayne get a lot of airtime with the Fox announcers after the game, except that stoopid "Neon" Deion Sanders told him the Colts will be "one and done in the playoffs." Here's the Christmas card* I'm sending Deion:

*Courtesy of List of the Day

By the way, I was more than a little sad this a.m. The Hoosier Dome (it will always be the Hoosier Dome to me, not the RCA Dome) was put to rest today. Back in September they deflated the dome, and today the rest of it was demolished. I have a lot of fond memories of that place.

Farewell, old friend!

Colts 31, Lions 21

2008-12-17T18:49:00.000-05:00

Colts vs. Lions: Action - More IndyStar Galleries

Okay, that's seven in a row. Let's beat Jacksonville on Thursday to avenge our 23-21 loss from back in September and secure a playoff berth.

By the way, Pro Bowl selections were announced. Peyton Manning is the starting quarterback for the AFC...yawn. Freeney is also a starter, and I was happy to see Robert Mathis selected as a back-up. Don't forget Reggie Wayne, also a back-up. Eli Manning will be the back-up quarterback for the NFC, which is kinda cool. Kudos to Kurt Warner; didn't see that coming.

Speaking of the Pro Bowl, I heard something rather disturbing the other day. There's talk of moving the Pro Bowl to the weekend before the Superbowl. WHAT?? Are they crazy? That, to me, is just a recipe for injury disaster. Not to mention, they want to hold it in the Superbowl host city. I'm as happy as the next guy that Indy has the 2012 Superbowl, but c'mon... If we're rewarding these guys for a job well done, I can't really say this is where I'd send them.

Hey, Baby.

2008-12-10T20:42:00.000-05:00

The artist's caption for this cartoon reads:

That Baby Looks Like Alfred Hitchcock or a Penis.

My friend, Bridgie McBridgerton, had her baby today. Scarlett Faith entered the world at 8:45 a.m., weighing a whopping 9 pounds, 10 ounces and measuring 22 3/4 inches long. Wow. I'm not posting her picture as I don't know how Bridgie would feel about that, but let me assure you, Scarlett is a cutie and in no way resembles Alfred Hitchcock or a penis.

Congratulations, Bridget, Craig, Lucy & Max!

You can check out more funny cartoons at www.nataliedee.com

Here's the Tricky Part

2008-12-09T20:08:00.000-05:00

Do any of you remember the Fig Newton commercials back in the 70s with the guy dressed like a fig and dancing to the Fig Netwon jingle? "Here's the Tricky Part" was the tagline for LOTD the other day, so of course, I immediately searched the internet to see what I could find. Here's the commercial, and it's just as funny today (maybe funnier).

Hit it, Hal...

Colts 35, Bengals 3

2008-12-07T20:47:00.000-05:00

I told John this morning the Colts needed to win AND win decisively, and that's what they did. Peyton threw three TDs, Dominic Rhodes ran one in, and Kelvin Hayden returned a Ryan Fitzpatrick interception for a touchdown. Hayden had another interception, and the defense had four sacks. Granted, this was against the Bengals, but have you already forgotten last week's game versus the Browns?

We won't mention Dallas Clark's fumble on the goal line, or the fact that for the first time since 2002, the Colts will not be the AFC South Division Champions. Tennessee sealed that deal today by beating the Cleveland Browns.

Next week: the 0-13 Lions. Nothing in the NFL is a given, but you have to think our chances are good for a seven-game win streak. Oh, by the way...I will not be at the game next week. In my quest for Mother of the Year, I will be attending the BHS Holiday Choir Concert. In my quest for Stepmother of the Year, I gave Tom my ticket.

Colts vs. Bengals: Action - More IndyStar Galleries

Muskrat Love

2008-12-03T19:26:00.000-05:00

List of the Day had a post today about celebs who might be dead. One such person was Daryl Dragon of Captain and Tennille fame. In case you're wondering, he's alive. Anyhoo, this reminded me of a video I saw not too long ago and I was struck by a few things:

While Toni Tennille is harmlessly cheesy, Daryl Dragon is one weird mo fo.
Muskrat Love is a really stupid song.
I lusted after Tennille's "pumpkin cut" so bad. Little did I realize, my crazy hair was never going to be that smooth and shiny. I think my 7th grade school picture is proof of that.
My aunt gave me a choice of birthday gifts in 1976: a shopping trip or tix to see Captain and Tennille in concert. I chose the shopping trip and am still kicking myself. After all, I could have witnessed this in person:

(If video doesn't show up on blog, click here.)

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Colts 10, Browns 6

2008-11-30T21:22:00.000-05:00

Raise your hand if you thought the final score would be a little different than this...me, too. Kudos to the defense for winning this game. For those of you keeping track, that's five in a row.

Colts vs. Browns: Action - More IndyStar Galleries

Now, on to something REALLY important...guess who's awesome?

ME, that's who!!

I won the Hank FM Pigskin Playoff last week! That's $250 just for being my usual football genius self.

Ball State "Fiercest Robin-Sized Birds in the World"

2008-11-26T12:06:00.000-05:00

A Very Reyes Thanksgiving

2008-11-25T16:45:00.000-05:00

This year I am thankful for Jib Jab, the Internet, and Blogger.

Oh, geez...I almost forgot! AND my puppies.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

PSYCHE!!! Most of all, my family!!

Colts 23, Chargers 20

2008-11-24T21:34:00.000-05:00

To quote the great John McClane, "Yippee ky yay, ______ ______!" You can fill in the blanks.

To quote the great Hunter Smith, "It was a good snap, a good kick, and I'm ready for an In-N-Out Burger."

Colts vs. Chargers: Action - More IndyStar Galleries

Now, on to Cleveland!

Anniversary Weekend

2008-11-22T20:10:00.000-05:00

Judging from the avalanche of fan mail I've received, you're all just dying to hear about our anniversary weekend.

We had a room reserved at the Hilton on Saturday night. When we got to our room, it was teeny-tiny with a desk taking up half of the room. That bothered me, although John was okay with it (I think he was already formulating some naughty secretary game). What he didn't like was the sliver of a window. He apparently is claustrophobic. So we called the front desk and they said they didn't have anything else available, followed immediately by the question, "Have you done anything in there yet?" Hey, we're good, but not THAT good. After we assured her the room was unscathed, she told us to come down and she would get us something else. Our second room was on the 19th floor. I was pretty excited when we walked in and one entire wall was a window. Unfortunately, it was a rather unspectacular view that awaited us:

On closer view, you can see the behemoth Lucas Oil Stadium on the left, and the tattered, forgotten remains of the Hoosier Dome on the right.

Being a woman of simple means, I do enjoy some hotel swag.

You may think this is me trying to be alluring...no, I'm just checking out the room service menu; planning ahead for breakfast.

We headed downstairs to the restaurant bar for some cocktails. In case anyone wants to go to McCormick & Schmick's for Happy Hour, they have a killer food menu. They are practically giving the food away. Our bartender, Aaron, was a nice guy and bought our first round of drinks in honor of our anniversary.

John, sampling my girly Dreamcicle martini.

Aaron, who is NOT stingy with the alcohol.

He called me a "crazy lady" before we left.

In my defense, I hadn't eaten all day.

At this point, we went back to the room to freshen up for dinner, and by "freshen up" I mean John watched a ballgame and I did a faceplant into the bed. I've since learned this is called "pre-wasted." After a nice nap, John dragged me out of bed and forced me to get ready. At this point I would have been just as happy to get McDonald's and stay in the room, but get ready I did. As we're waiting for the elevator, John is standing there looking very intently at me. I'm assuming he's thinking, "She's just as beautiful as the day we got married. I am a lucky, lucky man." What he said was, "Your eyes are really bloodshot."

Their shrimp cocktail was the largest, meatiest shrimp (there's a contradiction in terms) I have ever seen. Delicious.

I can't believe I ordered sirloin at a place known for seafood, but this was really, really delicious. I'll just have to go back and try the seafood.

We said we weren't getting dessert.....
I've never really understood what the big deal was about Red Velvet Cake, but ordered this because it was the only thing I thought John would like. It was pretty fantastic.

42 seconds later...

So, that's it. As you all know from reading this, we went to the Colts game on Sunday. We had to drive Robin back up to Ball State so didn't get home until late Sunday evening. All in all, a fun weekend; and anytime we can spend that much time together without wanting to club each other on the head, I consider that a success.

Look, Ma!

2008-11-22T20:03:00.000-05:00

No nutz!

I promise, this is THE LAST post on Ringo's testicles (or lack thereof).

I wouldn't want you all to think I was weird or something....